I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
