Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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