There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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