I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
