I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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