dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
