I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
