Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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