so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
