That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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