i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
