fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
