I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
