Umm I'm too high to move.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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