She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
