Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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