The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
