i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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