Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
