my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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