Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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