i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
