Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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