i permit you to call me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
