what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
