smell my finger.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
