Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
