Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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