Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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