he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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