What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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