All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
