Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you guys were way drunker than both of me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize