i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
