HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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