Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
