just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
