I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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