Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize