but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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