why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
