Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
