Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
