yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
