She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
