My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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