Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
