we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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