Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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