O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
