no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
