I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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