it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
