he thought i was a dude.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
