so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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