she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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